“Mommy, Mommy.” Those were the last words of a dying Civil War soldier in Gary Paulsen’s book, “Soldier’s Heart.” The story is about a fifteen-year-old Winona youth who walks to Fort Snelling to join the First Minnesota Volunteers. He experiences four battles, all horrific. In his first battle at Bull Run, he is so terrified that he can’t fire a shot.
I have read that soldiers who are about to die often recall their childhood and call for their mother. It’s as if they really wanted something to grab on to and their mother, more than anyone else, was the person they most wanted. Mothers are very good at being there when we need them. That’s why we miss them so much when they are gone.
Just in the past week or so I heard several references to the importance of having someone to grab on to. In church a guest pastor was teaching children the 23rd Psalm, “The Lord is my Shepherd.” Each of the four fingers and thumb represented a word in the verse and when they got to “my,” the children were to grab on to that finger tightly. The pastor told them that whenever they felt afraid, they had their Lord to grab on to because he was their Lord and whenever they needed Him, He would be there for them. It was a good message for kids. I hope they remember it.
Like our moms and the Lord, fathers are also good people to grab on to. My father came to visit for a day or two on his way to fishing at Rainy Lake. I know that whenever I am in need, my father is always there. I want to underscore the word “always.”
My wife and I try to be around, to be there for our kids. Sometimes it’s not easy being a parent in today’s busy, busy world. But “being around,” is what parents are supposed to do.
My mother-in-law passed away about three years ago. Even though she had Alzheimer’s during her last years, her presence gave comfort to her two daughters. Just being around was enough.
While fishing at Rainy Lake I noticed a mother merganser with six ducklings swimming near the rocks on an island. The ducklings were ever so close to their mother. When the mother would swim a little faster seemingly leaving the little ones behind, her babies would scoot quickly to be near her protective wings again. It almost looked like she was giving them a training lesson on what to do in case of danger—to scoot quickly and get near Mom.
I spoke to some Wisconsin teachers last week about the importance of students having a positive role model in their lives. Studies show that the more positive role models young people have, the greater the likelihood the students will find success in life.
Teachers often take the role of a surrogate parent because they are around. When parents are too busy, when parents get divorced, when parents have their own troubles to work out, students often find a teacher to turn to. Instinctively they look for someone to get close to, to find some protective wings. I believe it happens more today than ever before. I always point out to teachers the awesome responsibility they have. They can be a positive influence on many young people.
When you ride horses bareback you quickly realize the importance of having something to grab on to. When I was young, we would go out to a nearby pasture and jump on an old plow horse. Not having any reins, you just had the horse’s mane to grab. Often it was not enough and you would bounce or slide off and crash to the ground.
We need someone to grab on to so we don’t crash to the ground. So who do you grab on to? It’s a good question for all of us to answer. Notice I said “who” and not “what.”
Things can work for an instant fix. Maybe you can bury yourself in your books or your collection of baseball cards, dolls or coins. But one thing about “things,” they can’t give you feedback. They can’t show emotion. They can’t help you think or cry or get angry.
“People,
People who need people,
Are the luckiest people in the world,”
Barbara Streisand’s song says it all. Feel very lucky if you have someone to grab on it. For those that do not, let’s do our best to help make them as lucky as we are.
Who Is John?