As I was leaving my friend Mark’s hospital room where he recently had undergone heart surgery, I asked him if he had learned anything from his life changing experience. He told me pretty emphatically, “You have to take life seriously.”
That’s good advice but what does it mean?
My forty-fifth class reunion was held a couple of weeks ago. Coincidentally my father enjoyed his 72nd class reunion the day before mine. There is something very comforting about class reunions at least when you get to those beyond 30 years. People forget about asking “What have you done so far and has it been worth it?” and concentrate more on “It sure is good to see you.”
There wasn’t any talk at my reunion about “Well, what did you accomplish in life?” “Did you achieve your goals?” I don’t think the word “goal” was mentioned except if we happened to be talking about football and someone asked about why we never tried any field “goals” in high school. There was also very little “What are you doing now?” kind of questions. People really didn’t care if you were a college president or a college drop-out. It’s not a big deal. Everybody did ask, “How are you doing?” and they meant it.
The day before the reunion I went to a funeral of a family friend who died at the age of 84. His name was Jack and he had this gift of woodworking. In fact he made most of the special furniture in his church including the altar. He was truly gifted.
One time I asked Jack to make me a dollhouse for my wife’s Christmas present. It was a Victorian type house with lots of rooms and a porch. Like all of his projects he did an “A+” job and my wife still has the dollhouse in our bedroom. It is a perfect place to display her collection of antique miniatures. I wish I would have had the opportunity to thank Jack one more time.
All of his life Jack worked in the hatchery business, which was founded by his father, who put all of his sons to work. Mowing Jack’s lawn was my first paying job. Many times Jack took my brother and me squirrel, duck and pheasant hunting. Next to making things of wood, hunting was his passion.
I think if I had asked Jack the question about what it meant to take like seriously, he would have said, “Don’t take it too seriously.” Jack enjoyed a great life. He had some great adventures but he was also pretty basic. He enjoyed cribbage and eating fried fish just like the rest of us.
The conversation at the reunion was pretty basic. Nothing like “Well, what do you think of the war in Iraq.” Or, “What do you think of Governor Pawlenty?” No, it was pretty much like “What do you do to keep looking so young?” which no one really looked but it was a polite thing to say to get a friend to chuckle and smile. It was about treating each other nicely.
We all shared a common and significant characteristic. We all graduated together and spent a good share of our life together, perhaps the most important part. We could trust one another to share things we may not normally share with others.
Taking life seriously has more to do with what’s on the inside of you and less about what you have on the outside. No one at the reunion asked me what kind of car I drove or what kind of house I was living in. They did ask me how my parents were doing, and about my wife and how my kids were.
Mark learned a lesson in how to take life seriously. To him it means taking better care of his body because that’s the only one he has. Health and happiness, yes, they have a lot to do with taking life seriously.
There was some discussion at the reunion about meeting every year and not just every five years. Taking life seriously means keeping track of your friends. I think we would all agree that our friends are becoming very important to us.
For me taking life seriously means getting up in the morning, taking a walk and thinking of the people I care about and hoping that the next time I visit them, they are still here.
Funerals, visiting friends in the hospital and attending class reunions are good experiences for learning about life. It’s too bad we can’t attend our own funerals. That would really teach us the seriousness of life but as Jack would remind us, “Just don’t take it too serious. You might forget your class reunion.” That would be too bad.
Who Is John?